When a man and a woman very first get together it can be going along well and as soon as things begin to become a little more serious, a man can begin to pull away. This is naturally likely to be confusing for the woman and could make no sense whatsoever.
And it can depend on how connected the woman felt to the man, as to how she responds to what happened. If everything was going well plus there was the potential for so much more to occur, after that there is higher chance that there is not going to be anger and frustration, but also a sense of sadness and even loss.
It could be devastating and the consequences could be serious; especially if this is something she has skilled time and time again. A one off may be dismissed, but to continually attract a man who is unavailable could be overwhelming plus hard to comprehend.
There is often said to be a whole range of reasons as to why a guy would pull away. And these can include a guy that is: not fully interested in the ladies, is at a stage where he is not really ready to settle down or doesn’ capital t want to lose his freedom, amongst other reasons.
These can audio reasonable and may settle a women’ s mind. However , if they are having a man who is into them just like must as they are into your pet, these are unlikely to really answer a woman’ s questions.
As it was going well and moving along nicely, it would be clear that this interest is there. And while the man may not be ready to settle down, if he has fulfilled someone he has clicked with, surely he would be open to going additional. Certain freedoms may be lost, yet other freedoms would be gained along the way.
At first these factors might settle a woman’ s i9000 thoughts and emotions, but in line with the human need to connect with another person, it is often more about someone’ s degree of emotional maturity that it is about these other reasons.
In The Beginning
From the start the man could come across as being fairly interested or can across as being extremely into the woman. And if the man was extremely eager in the beginning, it is going to be more of a surprise when he pulls away.
This could be man that is within regular contact and one who wants to spend as much time as possible with the woman and take her to areas. Or in the case of a guy who is fairly interested, this might just include planning to see her on a regular basis and to keep everything fairly consistent.
So at one moment, a female can feel that the man is into her and everything is going so well. And the next moment, the man can become: cold, distant and totally unavailable.
Hot And Cold
While the above could be what happens, it could also be something which goes in cycles. So it is not a case of the man being available and not being available and that’ s the end of it. The man could be available and then unavailable and then before long become available again and the cycle after that continues.
When this happens, a female could end up being taken advantage of and diminishing, if she hasn’ t got strong boundaries. The man could after that be pursued and come to determine that his behaviour is appropriate to the woman.
And if a woman is constantly attracting these kinds of guys into her life, then it could be a sign of her own fear of closeness. Consciously there may be the desire to connect with a man and to avoid being abandoned and at a deeper level; there could be a fear of being engulfed by one.
The Unavailable Guy
So as he is offered at first and then shortly after becomes unavailable, it is likely that he has a fear of closeness at a deeper level. The reason he or she comes on so strong at first could relate to his conscious fear of getting abandoned.
And as the connection grows stronger, his deeper anxiety about being engulfed arises. When he or she pulls away and this deeper fear settles down, the fear of being homeless can arise once more and the attention can reappear.
These fears are not necessarily problems per se, what can lead to problems are when these fears are reacted to, instead of faced, processed and cured.
One of the primary causes of this type of conduct and these inner fears that causes it does not take relationship a man had with his mother as a child. This could have been a mother that was emotional undeveloped and so used her son to take care of her own needs and wants.
And as she was not aware of her own conduct and out of tune with the girl sons needs, she ended up smothering her son in the process. The child would have wanted his mother to fulfil his wants and needs, but would have feared being smothered if this took place.
Whether he got attention or not might therefore lead to the experience of pain. To be left would cause the feeling of being abandoned, but if the mother had been available it would result in the feeling of being engulfed.
These inner fears are creating conflict for the man plus until they become aware of them, there is certainly unlikely to be any real modify. These fears and emotions, which have remained trapped in the body since those early years, can be released with the help of a therapist or a healer.
When a woman feels totally comfortable with intimacy, it is unlikely that she would be attracted to a man who may be not. So a woman may also possess some letting go to do.
Prolific author, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. Their insightful commentary and analysis addresses all aspects of human transformation; really like, partnership, self-love, and inner consciousness. With several hundred in-depth content highlighting human psychology and conduct, Oliver offers hope along with his audio advice. Current projects include “ A Dialogue With The Heart” plus “ Communication Made Easy. ”